I’m In Trouble

Two days ago my husband took baby boy to his monthly checkup.  I’m usually the one who takes him and I really love his pediatrician.  She is a new mom herself and so her advice resonates on a more real level.  We chat as if we are two friends having coffee and talking about our kids.  But I couldn’t go this last time because I had to work.  So when my husband came home and told me his pediatrician needed to talk to me about a few things I was doing, I knew I was in trouble.  And I knew what she was going to tell me.  But I’m not one to shy away from criticism so I quickly picked up the phone and called her answering service.   She called me soon after and after a moment of chit chat she told me what I didn’t want to hear but know is the truth: it’s time to put the baby in his own bed and his own room.  Just hearing those words made my heart sink.  But I know she’s right. My best friend, who is also a pediatrician, has lectured me on this in the past but that was before he was six months old and I thought I still had time.

Now though, I know that if I sleep train him he will soon sleep through the night without waking up and that by keeping him next to me as a snuggle bunny, I was only being selfish.  I promised that I would try to at least put him in his pack ‘n play in my room.  The idea of putting him in his own room, all alone, is just unbearable at the moment.  And what I don’t want to do is go through reading another sleep training book.  So if you would, I beg of you to give me advice.  How did you sleep train your baby?  How long did it take?  And was it worth it? And please, please don’t tell me I have to let him cry.

One thing you should know about me is,  growing up, I was always the teacher’s pet.  I don’t like when the teacher is disappointed in me.  So I have to get this assignment right.  But unlike grade school, I don’t have a clear text book on how to ace this exam.  I hope that you can help.

I’m In Trouble

7 thoughts on “I’m In Trouble

  1. Reem, My apt was so small for the first 10 months of Ellie’s life, so we were forced to share a room. And I figured if she is in my room, she mind as well be in my bed, because the only place her pack-n-play could fit was right up against the street side window…and all of the noise would wake her up constantly. I moved so Ellie could have her own room.
    But for the first month, I was the one with the separation anxiety. I felt like she was so lonely in there, and the moment she cried, I would run and get her. Finally, I had the same realization, that I was just being selfish. And yes, there were some nights of crying…but it wasn’t that bad…and now, shock of all shocks, she is sleeping from 8pm to 730am most nights. If you need a good sleep coach, I have a recommendation for a very gentle one.

  2. Yasmine says:

    Hi Reem. I know how you feel. I am going to say this not because I am a fellow cosleeper but because I have done my homework. I know you have to. Most pedeatricians are not supportive or sympathetic to codleepubg but it is healthy and safe. Many families cosleep and their babies STTN. Mine doesn’t but she is a happy, cheerful baby despite it. It’s not selfish to sleep with your baby. Families have done it for centuries and still do. . Move to the next step because it is what you want not because of the pressure. And you can do it gradually instead of cold turkey. Minimize your contact with Fareedo at night; try the pack n play; put a mattress by his crib and sleep beside him. There are ways to do it gradually if that is what you want. Whatever you choose, good luck and tell me how it goes 🙂 I am slowly doing it too.

  3. Don’t feel bad. There are plenty of us who kept our babies in our rooms for years.
    I understand the doctor wants you to put baby in his own room and bed; try taking things one step at a time. Try putting baby in a play pen or cradle in your room, next to your bed. Once you and the baby, and your husband of course, are comfortable with that, try the next step of putting baby in his own room.
    Take baby steps and let the doctor know so she can also help you with the transition.

  4. Try taking steps. The doctor recommended that baby sleep in his own room and own bed. Try putting him in his own bed (e.g. play pen) next to your bed. Once you are comfortable with that, transition to his own room.

    But communicate with your doctor to receive advice on what ways are best.

    My daughter has slept in our room, but she is in her own bed. We are transitoning her to her own room now, now that she is 6 months old.

    Let us know how everything goes!

  5. Okay, probably not what you want to hear but I am also a teacher’s pet and need to get a good grade. I have three sons who are 9, 12, and 15 and I let each of them decide when it was time to leave my bed. Yeah, crazy, I know but I have three of the most well adjusted, confident, young men that I could ask for. The youngest still crawls in very often and the other two are long gone. I really believe that we had a remarkable bonding experience through our sleeping patterns.

  6. Aww…you know I don’t care what the people around me think. Babies are little for such a short time and we cosleep. Since my DH doesn’ like night parenting duties and easily shunts the work back to me, he doesn’t get a full vote 🙂 My 2.5 year old started sleeping 6-8 hours at a stretch around 18 months, at 22 months she stopped nursing to sleep gradually until by her 2nd birthday. A few times at 2.5 she has almost followed through on going to bed by herself, I can see that it is experimental and she’s not quite ready. And frankly neither am I. Her toddler days are numbered and soon she won’t need me that way much longer 😦 I say find a balance that works for you.

    Now with the new baby, if we didn’t cosleep we’d get less time together and less sleep. She can sleep through noise and activity too! She stirs and resumes sleep feeling close even if my time is divided. It ain’t broke so I don’t fix it 🙂

    If you WANT to start the night alone and begin cuddle time at 4am, there is no reason why not. It’s not selfish, it is instinct. Hapiness is healthy. Sleep patterns change a lot in the first year–teething, milestones, illness — that most sleep training is temporary at best unless the baby has the natural inclination to be alone — those babies are rare. If it was common for babies to sttn and sleep alone there would be no books or boards about how to male them do it! haha!

    Your pediatrician would despise me. LOL I want one thing from my child’s dr. Are the developing physically normally? (no problems with vision, hips, head size, etc.) The rest of it — how we sleep, how long we breastfeed, how much I hold her–totally not their buisness or expertise. I also make a feisty patient myself if I get patronized! lol

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