… is a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. For three months I have gladly woken up several times throughout the night to feed my baby and pump. There was one night when I was so tired, I actually slept for six straight hours. It was so beautiful. But it only happened once. I desperately want it to happen again.
We just came back from a trip visiting family in California and I have a very fussy jet lagged baby who refuses to sleep before 1 AM. Last night, for the first time, I actually got annoyed with my three-month old! I put him to bed at 10 PM. He woke up at 10:15. I tried again at 11. He woke up at 11:30. And I actually found myself frustrated with him. That feeling was immediately followed by enormous gilt. How could I get mad at my baby, especially when the reason for his fussiness has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with our decision to travel? I felt like a terrible mother. But I’m really tired and I really miss sleeping.
Tonight I may get my wish. It’s my birthday and my husband has offered to take the entire night shift and let me sleep. Honestly, I cannot think of a better gift. Now, the question is if I can actually let myself sleep. In my mind waking up throughout the night is synonymous with being a good mom. Plus, I’ll feel so guilty seeing my tired husband tomorrow. I wish we could both get a good night’s sleep. I wish all three of us could sleep for eight hours straight. Do you think Santa grants wishes like these?
I wish you all a happy holiday season and a very good night’s rest. As for me, I think it’s time for a nap since my little one is with daddy right now and seems to be dozing off.
Moms, will I ever get to really sleep again?